Dirty Bathrooms and Mommy Awards

After a long day of cleaning with two small children my husband surprised me with company. I always clean everything but the bathroom. It’s definitely on my list but at the bottom and there never seems to be enough time to get all the way to the bottom of that ever-growing paper of mommy responsibilities. I inwardly prayed the whole time that somehow we would get through dinner and no mention of needing to use our facilities would ever come up. IT DID and my heart dropped how was I going to survive the embarrassment. We have a three-year old son who is every independent and has decided he can do it himself. I do not want to discourage his well ment intentions but you can imagine what that looks like. So fast forward two hours and there I am on my hands and knees crying as I scrubbed the bathroom floor. (Everyone else had already gone to asleep.) All I could think of was that is was my fault the voices in my head kept reminding me over and over agin how big of a failure I am. I had tried so very hard to get to everything on my list but ran out of time. Sometime I think the pressure we stay at home moms put on ourself is a little bit drastic. Somehow I always feel the need to earn my keep. So the tears kept coming.18519425_1320883317976911_4486728279051665391_nHow could I have let this happen? I gave up a career to stay home and raise our two sons and I can’t even do that right. Looking back I know that was a lie but in the moment in felt so real and heart breaking. About that time our son woke up asking for water, the mommy instincts kicked in and I quickly brushes away my tears and hurried to my sons bed with his requested water. His cute little hands reached out and touched me and out of no where he said “you’re the best mommy in the whole world” and then he fell right back to sleep. So maybe to some I did indeed fail today for not having everything as perfect as I would like. But in the moments like this I have to remind myself I am doing the best I possibly can. My priorities will forever be my family number one and to my son I had already succeeded dirty bathroom and all. Tomorrow is a new day and I will try again!

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